I just come back from a pub night in the most beautiful city in the world (Levallois) with my English group. We spoke english, only english, with a young english teacher.
I like speaking english, I really like speaking english. I feel like I was travelling (and travelling, as everybody knows, is... adventure !). I feel freer too. Less me.
Except that I realized that other people had the same idea than I had : learning english as an hobby, an activity to meet people. And, actually, I was with a 42 years old woman, a 40 years old man, a 30 years old one. All single... And a 39 years old man who is getting divorced...
They obviuosly knew everything about me and my poor private life after only 30 secondes...
Why do single men have such an “unttractive” look on their face ? And why do married or engaged men look so sexy ?
Who knows, poor girl !
I’m surely look like they look.
Nevertheless, if you want to know everything, I get some “proposals” these days. 3 in fact. I don’t fancy any of them. So I feel guilty and tell myself I’m too hard to please. I should end with big emotions and passion and be pragmatic...
But do you really think I could be “pragmatic” ?!
I’m waiting for the “spark”. I’m telling to myself that the spark will fall on me one day.
Hurry up, spark.
I hope I’m not making a mistake.
I hired a young man, at work. 22 years old, gay. He’s scared of me. He told me that I’ve impressed him a lot.
I summonned him yesterday. So he didn’t sleep all night.
I give him big speeches about experience and life and youth and the best way to do our job, etc etc...
And I realize that I started working a long time ago now.
“Time goes by so quickly”, I thought.
I prefer to be in my position than in his. But, I used to be the youngest, and, now, I’m the “old”.
A cold brieze went through me.
And I know that I took “pleasure” to scare him with my “experience” and all these things about life and patience. Am I sadistic ?!
I’m a complete different person at work. You wouldn’t believe it.
You know what I’d like ?
And I don’t care if it’s immoral or bad.
I’d like that a married or engaged man leaves his wife for me.
Am I childish ?
Yes but you know, mylittlechicks, it’d flatter me !
And if he could speak english, it’s be better !
This is what I want.
I tell you it straight out.